Saturday, 16 February 2008

For You

You said you would always be there
To help me, hold me and care.
I knew it would not last
It ended so very fast.

You promised it would go away
"Give it time" you always say.
With time and time it never went
And this is the letter that I sent:

"I will not live this life I hate
I will not leave my death to fate.
Lighter and lighter becomes my breath
Closer and closer I come to death...

...I'd rather have a death my own
Than live a life all alone.
Alone is all I will ever be
Because of this shame and anxiety!"

Slowly as my life begins to fade
I see all the mistakes that I made.
But now I have peace of mind,
And to that pain, I am blind!

©Invisible Shadows 2008

I wrote this when my ex (who remained a good friend) wanted to get back with me...he knew I was having problems with anxieties, but not the reasons why...he said he'd stick by me, and help with the anxieties, but we soon broke up as I could not handle a relationship (again we stayed friends)...I wasn't bitter to him, more bitter at myself; angry and disappointed that I could not cope!