Sunday, 16 October 2011


The rain is pounding down on me,
With furious gales, unable to see.
I cannot cry, I cannot weep
You cannot see the shame so deep.

The snow ice cold freezes me,
My heart so numb, my mind empty.
I cannot touch, I cannot feel
You cannot see the me that's real.

The silent wind smothering me,
Steals my dreams so quietly.
I cannot hope, I cannot laugh
You cannot see the future I had.

The waves are crashing over me,
Filling my lungs I cannot breathe.
I cannot speak, I cannot scream
You cannot hear the hurt within.

The rain, the snow, the wind, the waves,
Takes away the peaceful days.
My body is sore, bloody and scarred
Trust and love has become so hard.

My heart is empty, rotting away.
The dreams are gone, the nightmares to stay.
A future stolen, my hopes moved on
This isn't suicide, when my soul's already gone.

©Invisible Shadows 2011

This is all about what the emotions I feel and what I have become, and yet no one can see the change, they cannot see the disguise, the shadow. I felt dead inside. I didn't see the thoughts as 'suicidal' as how could it be, when I was already dead! It was soon my birthday, and whilst everyone was making a big deal of turning 25, I felt I had died at 20. There was no fight in me, just desperation to make all the pain stop!

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